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Sometimes tears come and they come hard.

You clutch at your throat,

trying desperately to breathe.

Sobs wrack every inhale, your whole body convulsing.

And you find yourself in the middle of a very crowded space, like a train station,

and everyone

and everything

around you is spinning.

Faster and faster they go until it’s all one blur.

All of it.

It’s all there but at the same time,

not.

And you’re taken back to the day you turned five when you were on the carousel

and it was moving

so fast

you lost sight of your mom and dad.

And all you wanted to do was get off

but you couldn’t.

Everything went faster and the music grew louder

and scarier

and you just wanted off more than anything you’d ever wanted in your life

so you squeezed.

You squeezed your eyes shut and your fists closed.

And, in the next instant, mom and dad were there,

holding their hands

out to you,

welcoming you back.

And the illusion breaks.

Your balance breaks

and you crumble to your knees, still gasping for breath,

clutching,

convulsing,

crumbling,

breaking,

And all you want is to get off.

Merry-go-round

Courtesy of Google images

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